Not as much as that broadcast did. Seeing his face again... this was all wrong. It couldn't be him. He was dead. And yet, to know how they used his image for their plans...to mock us all.
Have they no decency?
I've called for Matthias, who apparently ran off somewhere. Probably doing something for me, as usual. I work him too hard, I think. But here I am rambling again. If you're reading this Matthias (I know you tracked this down), please come to my hospital room immediately. There is much we have to discuss.
I've agreed to help Quatre and have already sent a few trusted employees to Mars, where I strongly suspect that broadcast came from. Then again, in this state of mind, I don't believe that my choices are reliable anymore. I'm doing this for him, I keep telling myself. I'm doing this for Treize. For his honour.
But how can I hope to protect his, when I could not keep mine?
And maybe...it really was him?
They're clever, I admit. If who I think it is, is behind all this... they know how to play mind games rather well. Destroy us all with uncertainty...yes, very clever.
I need someone to talk to. So that I do not keep rambling in this. Being that I am typing with just one arm.
I have convinced the doctors to tell me what exactly happened to it. It's not anything serious (I think), Fairweather was jsut worried that I would stress myself out over it. No matter. The surgery will be soon enough. And then...
...well, we'll see.